Artists - L - La-Lan - Lagrenee, Louis - Melancholy

It’s 2:00 in the morning and even with my sleeping pills, I can’t sleep, so here I am, putting in writing some of the things that are bothering me and keeping me awake.  Now, if you read my blogs, I don’t usually “journal” on here, but tonite is an exception, so either bear with me….. or don’t.

A little background for those of you who don’t already know:  My husband is employed with Union Pacific Railroad (UPRR), a huge corporation that keeps sending out quartly reports telling us how great the company is doing and how much of a profit they are bringing in.. in the millions of dollars!  Great, right??  Well if it’s so great, why has my husband and about 1000 other people been furloughed for well over a year?  In my husband’s case, and anyone else with a seniority date after 2003, nearly 2 years!!??  Families have lost homes, marriages have been ruined, bankruptcies have been filed, in our case, our car was reposessed, etc., etc.  Now I know that this is pretty typical lately with the U.S. economy which has been run into the ground, but c’mon.

Well this past week, my husband got an email from UPRR with an invitation for an interview in Oregon (we currently reside in California).  He accepted the invitation because, frankly, we are desperate.  His RR unemployment is running out in March and no more extensions will be available and we are at the end of our options.  My own UI is almost out and I am on my last extension too, so what other choice do we have?  So we went up to Oregon, he had his interview (along with 30 other people) and guess what… He got the position!! He will be a Utility Clerk, working in an office, rounding up crews, transporting them to and from trains when their shifts begin or end, etc. It’s not a job like the trainman/conductor that he was in the past where he gets bumped and someone with a higher seniority can take his spot, it’s an (almost) guaranteed 40 hours a week.  There are a few downsides, #1, the pay is about 1/3 of what he would get as a conductor, but you don’t get paid if you aren’t working right?  #2 is we have to move to Oregon.  I’m not saying anything bad about Oregon, in fact, it’s beautiful and we are looking forward to moving up there and starting our new life.  It’s just that this will be the third time we have “started over” with the railroad in the last 4 years and the previous two were not pleasant. 

The first one was in Southern California, a great area where I grew up actually, and it would have been perfect except that he didn’t have enough work and we were practically homeless for about 5-6 months.  We lived in a broken down borrowed motorhome that nothing worked in, no electricity, no water, no toilet…and we had no money to buy food most of the time, AND it was Damn cold in January with no heat! The only good part was that we were in a campground near the beach!

The next one was when the work dried up there so we were going to move to Sparks, Nevada where we were lead to believe they had more work than they could handle.  Well Sparks would never be my dream city (right next to Reno), desert, dusty, barren land, not my cup of tea, so I stayed in Sacramento with my daughter while he was going to look for a place for us.  When he got there, my husband rented a cockroach riddled motel room that didn’t even have linens or towels (you had to bring your own), for 2 weeks, paid in advance, no refunds, only to be furloughed 2 days later!!  After that, we both were staying with my daughter, and with NO income at all for a few months, we became quite a burden, although my daughter never complained because it was free babysitting while she worked.

We have been living in our own apartment for about a year and a half now on our measly unemployment, and a little help from his family in Germany now and then.  I have been going to school to get a degree in Medical Office Administration and things, well they could be better, but we were settling in.  Now, however, we need to move again!  The toughest part of this is that my 25 year old daughter (single mom) and 4 year old granddaughter will be staying here in Sacramento.  My ex is here, so they won’t be alone, but it’s not easy for me.  I am very close to both of them and my granddaughter thinks of me as her other mommy, leaving her is going to be horrible!  I have been on the verge of tears for the last few days.  Now we need to start packing. He needs to be in Oregon the first of February and we only have one car, so me staying a while longer is not an option unless we can figure something else out.

Oh well, I guess I just can’t be completely happy can I.  On the one hand, I am relieved that he has steady work starting, but on the other hand leaving here again is so very painful.  I know we’ll get through it.  Thanks for reading and letting me whine.  I’ll keep you updated.